Head In The Toilet Prank
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Speaking Clock
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
“What’s that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked.
“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.
“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.
“Yup,” replied the drunk.
“How’ s it work?” the friend asked, squinting at it.
“Watch,” the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “You idiot, it’s three-fifteen in the morning!”
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Rich man poor man
Rich man and a poor man are talking in the pub about buying birthday pressy’s for their wives.
Rich man sez: “Got the dear wifey a BMW M3 and a £2,000 diamond ring so if she don’t like the diamond ring she can take it back and change it in the new M3 and still be happy”.
Poor man replies: “Got the missus a pair of slippers and a dildo, if she don’t like the slippers she can trot off and go fook herself”.
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