“Has she started to neglect you?”

“Not at all,” the dejected man replied. “She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she’s a great cook, the house is always neat, and she keeps the kids out of my hair. She even lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to kinky sex, or says she has a headache.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Maybe I’m just being too sensitive,” the husband ventured, but at night, when she thinks I’m sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, ‘Die! Die, you son of a b*tch!’”

They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants.

The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze.

The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so that they could see the process.

It was great fun! They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.

The cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead.

The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “You idiot, it’s three-fifteen in the morning!”

Rich man sez: “Got the dear wifey a BMW M3 and a £2,000 diamond ring so if she don’t like the diamond ring she can take it back and change it in the new M3 and still be happy”.

Poor man replies: “Got the missus a pair of slippers and a dildo, if she don’t like the slippers she can trot off and go fook herself”.