Just laughs

           It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and
asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”
“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”
“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “it’s going to be a very cold winter.”
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again.
“Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”
“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”
“How can you be so sure?” the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacherThe florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers .

The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a
pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big,
heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking
a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and
tasted it. “Is it wine?” she guessed.;

“No,” the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, “Champagne?”

“No,” said the little boy…

“I give up,” she said. “What is it?”

The boy replied, “It’s a puppy

          A priest is giving his Sunday sermon and asks the congregation is anyone needs help they should come to him now as the lord has granted him powers to offer help.A man sheepishly stands up and walks to the pulpit.

“Yes my son and what is it you require help with?” the priest asks.

“My hearing” replies the man quietly.

“Well that’s Ok my son come to me” said the priest, and the priest calmly sticks one finger in the mans ear and his other hand palm down on the top of his head. He then asks the congregation to pray and the lord for guidance and holds the man for 5 minutes whilst he mutters prayer in Latin.

When he is finished he turns to the man and says “well son has that helped your hearing at all?”

The man replies “I don’t know father, it’s not until Wednesday”

Little Girl Walking Home From School.A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said “If you get in, I’ll give you a lollypop.” The girl kept walking.

Following along slowly, the man said “Come on and get in the car with me and I’ll give you two lolly pops.” She kept her
eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way.

The man said “Get in with me and I’ll give you this whole bag of lollypops!” Finally, the girl turned and said “Look daddy,
YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!”

                A lady at the far end of the bar waves her arm in the air to get the attention of the waiter and by doing that, exposes her hairy armpit. Down the other end of the bar is a very drunk man who says “Hey, get the ballerina a drink would you.”
“How do you know she’s a ballerina?”
“Well, no one else would get their leg up that high.